


Exes Play Truth or Drink

by Mistressaq



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Drinking Games, M/M, Platonic Soulmates, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2020-01-06 10:29:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18386621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mistressaq/pseuds/Mistressaq
Summary: Exes have a stack of questions, which they can either choose to answer truthfully, or plead the fifth, and take a shot. Today on the show we have Alaska Thunderfuck and Sharon Needles. (Don’t worry, Chad and Gabe are cool -- they’re hanging out in the greenroom.)





	Exes Play Truth or Drink

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote most of this last year -- like, legit 12 months ago -- but i dusted it off and added an ending a couple days ago and have been getting good response from Beta readers so here we go  
> (Based off the Cut video series on YouTube)

“Okay, if you wanna just give an introduction, who you are, what the show is...” Pete, the director, prattled off. Alaska’s nerves were getting to her. She did this thing when she was anxious, pulling at her fingers, squeezing her knuckles.

Sharon leaned one elbow on the table. “Want me to go first?”

Alaska plastered on that tight placid expression. “If you want to.” Her voice was tighter, but not so tight it would be noticeable to anyone who didn’t know her as well as Sharon.

Sharon eyed the camera head-on and squared her shoulders. She made sure to infuse her voice with her signature cackle. “Hell-o everyone, My name is Sharon Needles…”

Alaska caught her cue in expert time. “And I’m Alaska Thunderfuck 5000.”

Sharon took over again. “And you’re watching Truth or Drink.”

Alaska beamed sweetly at the camera. “The show where we relive past mistakes while making new ones. And today I’m here, despite my better judgement, with several shot glasses, a freshly opened bottle of Maker’s Mark, and Sharon Needles.” Brown contact lenses turned to Sharon. “Sharon, how are you today?”

“I’m doing fabulous today, Alaska. Yourself?” The femme facade in her voice was cast aside.

“I’m doing just fine.” Alaska looked away and found the notecards placed between the two of them. “So for those unfamiliar with the series, we have a stack of questions here, which we will either answer truthfully, or choose to take a forfeit instead, the forfeit being a shot. Sometimes there’s dares too. The same rules apply.” She looked back up at Sharon. “Sound about right?”

“Sounds good,” said the spooky queen. “You wanna go first with the question since I went first with the intro?”

Alaska’s mouth quirked to one side. Sharon couldn’t help but smile at just how uncomfortable she was. Alaska said “You had this planned, didn’t you?” Her voice cracked with laughter. “You had a whole strategy.”

Sharon held up an acrylic-tipped nail. “I am not a strat-- strateegist? Strategist?” Her dyslexia got the better of her again. “Whatever, look, if I was actually good at strategy, I’d have lost drag race the first time!”

Alaska still cackled at the oft-repeated joke. “Right,” she said, picking up the card on top. “I’ll go first.” She cleared her throat. “‘What was your first impression of me when we met?’”

Sharon sucked in a breath through her nose. “I can tell you I thought ‘damn this bitch is tall.’”

Alaska laughed. “And I was doing drag -- I was in heels that night I think.”

“Oh yeah, full Li’l Poundcake makeup,” said Sharon. “But back then that was just your regular drag face.” Alaska threw her head back and laughed. Sharon shook her head. “But for real,” she said, getting sincere. “I thought that… this is a funny, fun, intelligent person I wanted to get to know better.” She looked up at the camera, reminding herself and Alaska that they were not in a private conversation. “And I did.”

Alaska smiled genuinely and nodded. “I thought ‘who let this punk out of the eighties?’ so.”

Sharon cackled. Alaska placed the notecard face up to begin a discard pile. She knitted her gloved fingers together and rested her chin on her hands. “Your turn.”

“Oh, right.” Sharon grabbed the next card and held it a few inches away from her face.

Alaska smiled watching her struggle with her nearsightedness. “How have you not gotten LASIK yet?” she asked honestly. After all, Sharon had spent so much money on her face and teeth, neglecting her eyesight didn’t make much sense.

Sharon sneered playfully at her. “For the record, I’ve had no time.”

Alaska nodded. It was the reason for neglecting most things, also the reason she still didn’t have a cat. “Fair.”

“Okay,” said Sharon, placing the card at the corner of the table, starting up her own discard pile. “‘When did you know it was over?’”

Alaska let out a half-chuckle. “Okay, second question. Work. Um…” she rested her elbows on the table, thinking deeply. “I feel like I probably knew that it was over… well I’ll say this: I wish we’d ended things like, after season five.”

Sharon nodded, listening, her face impossible to read.

“ _Because_ ,” Alaska continued. “That was when it got like, really bad.” She smiled, reflexively trying to ease the tension. “Like, I wish I’d been able to tell myself it was over then. Because that’s when it was, looking back.”

Sharon pouted her lip and nodded. She motioned toward Alaska’s stack of questions.

“What, do you disagree?” Alaska’s voice was tight, reflex laughter bubbling up.

“What? No,” Sharon defended. “I just… yes, I agree. I wish we’d ended it before things got really fucked up, I agree with you there. Next question.”

“So where do you not agree with me?” prompted Alaska.

Sharon sat up straighter in her chair. “If it isn’t on the card, I’m not required to answer.”

Alaska scoffed in mock offense. Sharon immediately regretted her decision. Alaska was gonna tantrum after this, she just knew it. Sharon rubbed her temple with an acrylic nail.

Alaska swiped a question card from her deck and read: “‘Why did you break up?’” She turned toward the camera and shook her head. “We’ve literally answered this one a hundred times--”

“Each,” added Sharon.

Alaska nodded. “ _Each_. But anyway, I guess that just makes it easy for you,” she said, placing the card down on top of the previous one.

Sharon sucked her teeth, feeling that shade waft over her. “Growing egos, never seeing each other, it got toxic, better this way.”

Alaska nodded in agreement and Sharon grabbed another card.

“Ugh, give me one I wanna drink to,” said Sharon before she even started reading the question. After a few seconds of reading silently, Sharon grabbed at one of the shot glasses nicely lined up next to the liquor on the table.

“What’s it say?” squeaked Alaska.

Sharon was already opening the fresh bottle of Maker's Mark. “It was: ‘Do I ever pop into your head when you’re masturbating?’”

“Oh God yes; shot please!”

Sharon let out a cackle and filled the small glass. “At first I thought you were saying ‘yes’ as in yes to the question.”

Alaska’s eyes grew as wide as they could under her 301s. “Oh no. No no.”

Sharon pushed the shot to Alaska’s side of the table. “I get it. Not going there.”

Alaska downed the shot and winced at the burn. Wasting no time getting as far from that subject as she could, she grabbed another question card. “Okay, ‘I dare you to do a body shot off me’ oh no,” she reached out and grabbed Sharon’s wrist as she reached for the Maker’s again. Alaska read with dismay, “It says take _two_ shots to get out of it.”

Sharon laughed in the back of her throat. “Then I guess I’m taking two shots.” As she filled two shot glasses, she said “I mean this shit went from emotional to messy real fuckin’ quick, I tell you.

“But just for the record,” said Sharon pulling both shots closer. “I would have done it, I just know you wouldn’t be up for it.”

Alaska was quicker to respond than she usually would have been. “You think I wouldn’t?”

“I _know_ you wouldn’t,” said Sharon as if it were obvious. “You Holly-fucking-wouldn’t.”

Alaska rolled her eyes at the shameless self-reference, but reached out to stop Sharon from taking the first shot. “Let’s fucking do this, then.”

Sharon slid away the other glass. “You sure?”

Alaska was already getting up from her seat, pulling up her long latex gown to keep herself from tripping. She settled on her knees in front of Sharon, sticking out her breastplate. Someone from behind the camera whipped out an iPhone to get a better angle quickly. Alaska felt slightly bad that they were being inconvenient for the production, but not bad enough to waste time re-situating themselves and spending even more time on this whole body shot thing than they needed to. That would give her time to think about letting her ex take a body shot off of her, and this decision depended on her not thinking about it.

Sharon reached down to put the shot glass between Alaska’s fake tits and the neckline of her gown. She looked Alaska in the eye with lips pursed to hold back a smile.

Alaska’s eyes narrowed. “If you make a me-on-my-knees joke Sharon, I swear to God--”

Sharon’s head darted down. Her lips wrapped around the rim of the glass and she flung her head back. Pulling the glass from her mouth and slamming it on the table, she swallowed.

“Excellent,” stated Alaska. She looked at the edge of the table. “Now I have to get up.”

Sharon’s hands were open in front of her before the PA could rush in and try to help. Alaska nodded at Sharon and gripped her warm hands, pressing down as she tried to stand. Getting her shoe stuck on her gown, Alaska stumbled. Sharon caught Alaska against herself, but not well enough to avoid Alaska getting a table corner struck between her ribs.

“Ow.” Alaska reached behind her to rub her back. “Fuck.”

“Did I hurt you?” Sharon hissed.

“Alaska? You okay?” called Pete.

“Yeah,” she waved behind her. “Thanks.” She patted Sharon’s shoulder and stood up just fine. By the time she was sitting back at her side of the table, the two just stared back at each other.

Pete cleared his throat. “Uh, Sharon it’s your turn.”

“What?” Sharon blinked. “Oh.” She grabbed a card. This time when she read it aloud, a sense of front was lost. Her voice had that waver, a sign of vulnerability. “Um, ‘do you regret dating me?’” She strategically did not look at Alaska as she placed the card on her discard stack.

“No.” Alaska’s voice had lost something too. “There aren’t many mistakes I regret.”

Sharon laughed humorlessly. “You don’t regret it, but you think it was a mistake.”

Alaska’s shoulders dropped. “No, that’s--”

“It’s what you said, basically. I just wanted to be sure.” Sharon put up her hands and shrugged.

Alaska’s brows knitted together, her mouth slightly agape. “Okay. It may have come out that way but it wasn’t meant that way.”

“Then how was it meant?” sneered Sharon.

Alaska gripped the edge of the table. “If you weren’t being so immature for two seconds--” She let out a sigh and tried to release the tension in her body. She wasn’t going to fight with Sharon, especially not on camera. Looking her ex in the eye, she leveled. “I don’t regret dating you. That’s the truth. I don’t. And it’s my turn to read, so.”

She reached for her next card. “Fuck,” she said when she looked at it.

“What is it?” Sharon’s voice sounded even more wilted than before.

Alaska held the card between two fingers and flicked it away. It wobbled like a feather to the ground. “It wanted us to kiss on the mouth.”

Sharon’s mouth turned into an _O_.

Alaska folded her arms on the table and leaned forward. “I know you can barely taste it anymore, but I’d rather kiss you than drink that fucking gasoline.” Her conscience ate at her, but she had a gig to do after this shoot, and she’d promised herself and Michelle that her days of performing inebriated were behind her.

Sharon’s eyebrow raised as much as it could given her habitual Botox treatments. “You sure?”

Alaska nodded.

“You wanna consult with our mens?”

“I don’t really,” said Alaska. “I told Gabe I was likely gonna appreciate him even more after this. He expects some kinda something after.”

Sharon couldn’t help but chuckle. She’d had the same conversation with Chad. “Okay.” She leaned on the table, mimicking Alaska. After looking Alaska in the eyes for a few static seconds, Sharon glanced back at Pete. “Do we just, like, go for it?”

“That is typically how kissing works,” said Alaska, laughter crackling at the edges of her mouth.

“Fine.” Sharon leaned forward quickly. Alaska followed.

Their lips touched again after years for less than a second. There was warm softness, that cheesy smooching sound, then it was over.

Sharon leaned back, pursed her lips and grabbed another question card. Thankfully, not that many were left. She cleared her throat with effort. “‘What did your friends think about me while we were dating?’”

“Well, when you’re together for that long, it’s all the same friends basically,” said Alaska, also eager to move on as quickly as possible. “So especially toward the beginning it was like ‘you’re so cute’ la la la. But then you know, when things started getting dicey, they were like ‘girl its getting toxic y’all shouldn’t be together’ and I proceeded to yell at them and then yell at you and we fought for another year or so until we broke up officially and can you not even look at me after that kiss what the fuck?” Alaska was laughing.

Sharon’s head snapped up. “No, I can. See? Look, eye contact. Next question.”

Alaska giggled a little as she reached for the next card. “Well we know from Bro’laska that I’m an amazing kisser since I can do the thing with the cherry stem, so I understand why you’re starstruck.”

“You are a good kisser,” Sharon granted. “Not as good as Chad, though.”

Alaska cackled and pointed approvingly to Sharon with her card. “Good answer.” She started reading from the card and laughed more. “Sharon, what’s the most annoying thing about me?” She couldn’t stop laughing while the other answered.

Sharon stared straight into the camera. “Well America got to see your famous temper tantrums on All Stars 2, so now people will fucking believe us when we say you’re a fucking toddler when things don’t go your way.”

Alaska bent back over her chair, gasping for air. She reached a hand out to Sharon, who grabbed three of Alaska’s fingers and held on.

Sharon grabbed her last card. “Mkay. Oh, ummm” she looked up at Alaska trying to catch her breath. “I still have a shot ready from earlier, just, as a reminder.”

Alaska took in a deep breath. “What’s it say?”

“‘What would it take for us to get back together?’” Sharon quirked one side of her mouth to the side.

Alaska pressed her tongue against the roof of her mouth and did a contemplative tongue pop. Sharon started subtly sliding the shot Alaska’s way, but she didn’t take it.

“It would have to be a last people on earth thing,” said Alaska after a few minutes.

“Oh really?” said Sharon.

“Mhm,” said Alaska. “That or like, I dunno ten-twenty years down the line when we’re both like, twice divorced and we’re old queens,” both of them smiled. “When nobody wants us anymore because the gay community is so youth obsessed. I can see the two of us in a nursing home watching like, hologram versions of _The Golden Girls_.”

Sharon laughed. “Awe, that’s so cute… I’m never gonna live long enough to be in a nursing home, though.”

Alaska shrugged. “We don’t know that. It’s the future, they could grow you a new liver and new lungs probably.”

Sharon tilted her head noncommittally. “Could be.” She picked the last card and squinted.

“You really should fix that eyesight,” said Alaska.

“Just been too busy being booked,” Sharon said haughtily. “But you know what that’s like.”

“I do.” Alaska smiled. “What’s it say?”

Sharon glanced at Pete behind the camera. “Does this say ‘gaze into each others eyes for one minute’?”

“Uh, yeah, that’s in there.”

“Oh Satan,” Sharon said, her mouth contorting. “What kind of bitchcraft is going on here?”

“What?” Alaska croaked. “Is it just ‘look at each other for a full minute’?”

“Yeah! Isn’t that weird??” Sharon squirmed.

“Mm, not really,” said Alaska. “But eyes are windows to the soul and—“

“I don’t have one,” Sharon finished. She stared down the camera, showing off her costume contact lenses. “Borrowed these from Aquaria. Hope I don’t get a stye.”

Alaska giggled. “Just you in an auditorium of people with your eye fucking swollen shut from a contact lens.”

Shaking her head, Alaska broke a beat of silence. “Share, we can look at each other for sixty seconds. I’m down.”

“Oh- _kay_ ,” Sharon relented. “Are you ready? Can we get a timer?”

“Yeah, I can set up a timer,” said Pete.

Sharon closed her eyes in preparation for the —

“And, go.”

…

…

…

The silence between the two queens was palpable. Sharon still had one elbow on the table. Alaska’s hands were in her lap. She tilted her head. Sharon mirrored her. They smiled in unison, having found a game to funnel their nervous energy into.

“When was the last time you looked at each other like this?” Pete again.

Alaska folded her fist under her chin.

“It’s been a while,” said Sharon.

“Before the breakup?”

Alaska shook her head. “Definitely after.”

“Can’t remember exactly when…” Sharon’s gaze drifted to Alaska’s mouth — the side of her mouth, to be exact. A single age line was visible. Sharon’s lips lifted into a lopsided smile.

“But we definitely have.” Alaska’s mouth had barely opened to let the words out.

Pete’s timer went off. Sharon and Alaska half ignored it.

“Alright, notice any differences?”

Alaska spoke up. “You just look so much more… adult.”

“It’s the filler,” Sharon said.

Alaska cackled. “No, but like, beyond the filler, I can tell.”

“Hm, thanks for telling me I look old.”

“That’s so not what I meant!”

“Sure, sure.” Sharon waved her off, rising to her feet. Pete hadn’t called cut yet, but she was done for the day.

Alaska had trouble with her skirt again, but managed to scramble to her feet. “Share, I really didn’t mean—“

Sharon turned around. “It was a joke, doll. I get it. I’m not mad at you, I’m just being a drama queen.”

Something thudded in her chest. Alaska looked at her again with those doughy eyes. “You swear you’re not mad?”

“No, of _course_ not.” Sharon opened her arms. Alaska held on tighter than she would a fan at a meet and greet, but not so tight as to hurt Sharon. “You know,” Sharon began, Alaska still in her arms. “For someone as paranoid about being loved as you, you’d think you would have figured out how to not freak out at the thought of people being mad at you.”

“ _People_ being mad at me, I’m fine with,” said Alaska, pulling away. “I get freaked when I think _you_ might be mad at me.”

Sharon cocked her head. “I’m not people?”

“No,” said Alaska. “You’re family.”

Sharon’s overdrawn lip quivered. “Fuck, ‘Lask.” She looked up and away.

Alaska again enveloped Sharon in a hug, this time for as long as they needed.


End file.
